It is almost as if the doctors want to medicate you to shut you up. If you are in enough of a daze then you are unable to question them. Or they beat you down that you finally just get fed up and give up. I have done that before and had to take a summer off from all of the doctors all medications and anything that was medical related and gather myself together. By the time you have found a doctor that believes you and will listen and work with you, you are too tired and the fight is out of you.
My question to a doctor evertime they try to prescribe me a medication (I am currently not any except vitamins)
"How is it going to affect my children?"
Every time (except my regular doctor) the doctor looks at me with a questionable look, and then proceeds to say
"I don't understand you"
And I say to them
"How is it going to affect my children? Am I going to be able to take it when I have my children? Am I going to be able to wake up if my son has an Asthma attack in the middle of the night? Am I going to be dazed? Is my reaction time going to be slower?"
And every time the doctor says
"If it helps does it matter"
Are these doctors out of their mind. Yes it does matter, if I am unable to take care of my children why would I want to take the medication. If my son has an Asthma attack (which is very possible) and I cant wake up then what will happen. Even on the less serious side if one of my children has a nightmare and I cant come and give them a hug, that is not the type of mom I want to be. A mother has to be aware and alert at all times, and be able to do things without the hindrance of medication, especially a single mother.
Do doctors even think about what happens when you take that pill. The pill may do what they prescribed it for, but what about the side affects and what it does to what you are capable of doing.
Please everyone, before taking a medication please, please, please research the medication first. The medication may make you capable of doing less than prior to the medication, or the side effects may out way the benefits. The side effects do not just happen to you, they happen to all those around you as well.
Comments welcome
Laugh lots
Monday, January 31, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Easy To Say Not As Easy To Do
Although it doesn't look like it from the followers I have, all 2 of them, I received a lot of responses regarding my last two posts regarding children, the good and bad of having a parent who is sick. Much to my surprise most of them negative.
The majority of the negative comments were I should lie to my children, or people who live with chronic pain should lie to their children and not tell them what is happening. My question to them is what are we supposed to tell our children? Especially the single parents who do not have the help of taking care of the children when we have a bad day, or need to use a cane, or have to go into the hospital, or have to go to the doctors and do not have anyone to watch the children, what do we tell them?
I am a strong believer in telling children the truth. Obviously you don't go into the detail that you would with your doctor but you tell them the truth and details that are appropriate, you tell the truth in terms that is to their age. There are multiple people who believe otherwise, don't tell the children, if you have to lie. To me this makes them worry more.
The other statement that was repeated was, "tell them you are the adult, and they are the child and they do not have to worry". Just because they are children does not mean that they do not worry. Secondly, it is easy to say, but not easy to do. How many times have you received advice, or someone has told you something and you have thought "that was easy to say but try doing it"? Why is it different for children? I have told my children not to worry, I have explained to them numerous times that I have it because I can handle it, however no matter how many times I have told them this they still worry. I can tell them until I am blue in my face, until pigs fly, or until the end of time not to worry that doesn't mean that they won't. The one thing that does work, and has helped considerably is telling them if it is something serious I will tell you. This has helped because they know I will tell them, and they don't have to worry over everyday little things, or the days I do use my cane.
The truth works wonders, and I believe if you explain to your children, and not lie, it can help. But no matter how much you tell them not to worry they are going to worry, just like you. Children are no different. The other thing is if you lie to children, when they find out their is always a sense of mistrust. If something happens in the future then they do not know if you are telling them the whole truth, part of the truth, or the truth you want them to hear. I know I do not want my children to ever doubt what I say to them. Also what about the times that you say don't worry over and over, and your child finally clues in that them worrying can put more stress on you. They will hide their feelings, and lie to you in order to save you stress. Your child will no longer be open with you.
My feelings and thoughts, which I do not expect everyone to agree with, is that honesty with children whether it is something trivial or serious is important and key for them. They need to understand, they need to make sense of what is going on around them and without the truth they cannot do this.
The last point I want to address is that I was very seriously told by more than one person, more than a handful of people that it is wrong to let my children help me out. My children do no more than I did at their ages. They help with the chores, they clean their rooms, and other various things I did. However they are in tune when I have a good and bad day. On a bad day they know if we get up to get something to drink to ask mommy if she needs something, or on a bad day maybe lets keep the noise down a bit. Do not think I let my children do the cooking, cleaning and all I do is sit on the couch as one lady so elegantly stated to me.
I do appreciate all of your comments, please in the future post directly on the site and do not email. I will not post anything on the blog without your permission, so just post directly.
Thank you
Laugh Lots
The majority of the negative comments were I should lie to my children, or people who live with chronic pain should lie to their children and not tell them what is happening. My question to them is what are we supposed to tell our children? Especially the single parents who do not have the help of taking care of the children when we have a bad day, or need to use a cane, or have to go into the hospital, or have to go to the doctors and do not have anyone to watch the children, what do we tell them?
I am a strong believer in telling children the truth. Obviously you don't go into the detail that you would with your doctor but you tell them the truth and details that are appropriate, you tell the truth in terms that is to their age. There are multiple people who believe otherwise, don't tell the children, if you have to lie. To me this makes them worry more.
The other statement that was repeated was, "tell them you are the adult, and they are the child and they do not have to worry". Just because they are children does not mean that they do not worry. Secondly, it is easy to say, but not easy to do. How many times have you received advice, or someone has told you something and you have thought "that was easy to say but try doing it"? Why is it different for children? I have told my children not to worry, I have explained to them numerous times that I have it because I can handle it, however no matter how many times I have told them this they still worry. I can tell them until I am blue in my face, until pigs fly, or until the end of time not to worry that doesn't mean that they won't. The one thing that does work, and has helped considerably is telling them if it is something serious I will tell you. This has helped because they know I will tell them, and they don't have to worry over everyday little things, or the days I do use my cane.
The truth works wonders, and I believe if you explain to your children, and not lie, it can help. But no matter how much you tell them not to worry they are going to worry, just like you. Children are no different. The other thing is if you lie to children, when they find out their is always a sense of mistrust. If something happens in the future then they do not know if you are telling them the whole truth, part of the truth, or the truth you want them to hear. I know I do not want my children to ever doubt what I say to them. Also what about the times that you say don't worry over and over, and your child finally clues in that them worrying can put more stress on you. They will hide their feelings, and lie to you in order to save you stress. Your child will no longer be open with you.
My feelings and thoughts, which I do not expect everyone to agree with, is that honesty with children whether it is something trivial or serious is important and key for them. They need to understand, they need to make sense of what is going on around them and without the truth they cannot do this.
The last point I want to address is that I was very seriously told by more than one person, more than a handful of people that it is wrong to let my children help me out. My children do no more than I did at their ages. They help with the chores, they clean their rooms, and other various things I did. However they are in tune when I have a good and bad day. On a bad day they know if we get up to get something to drink to ask mommy if she needs something, or on a bad day maybe lets keep the noise down a bit. Do not think I let my children do the cooking, cleaning and all I do is sit on the couch as one lady so elegantly stated to me.
I do appreciate all of your comments, please in the future post directly on the site and do not email. I will not post anything on the blog without your permission, so just post directly.
Thank you
Laugh Lots
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Benefits For Children?
Yesterday I spoke of the downside of having a sick mom and what it does to my children and yours. With every negative there is a positive.
My children are completely opposite, but I definitely see some similarities and believe (can be my own reality) that it is from having to deal with sickness.
My son is more so sensitive than my daughter. Always concerned about pleasing people and not hurting people feelings. My daughter is more of I can't please everyone, so I am not going to try to. But they are both more aware of each other, and the other people around them and are compassionate, caring, nurturing, and giving.
When someone is ill, injured or just not having a great day they are the first to be there and ask if they can help, make you a card, or give a hug and say "I love you". They are willing to help out around the house, or make breakfast in bed. I know it sounds like I am bragging, really I'm not. I just wonder would they be like this if I wasn't lucky enough to have Fibromyalgia. Would they have that willingness, or awareness if they were not surrounded by it?
I have spoken to a lot of mothers who have Chronic Pain/Fibro, not so many single mothers. And the majority of the mothers have said they notice their children are the same.
Is this one of the benefits, or am I looking for it to be to ease some of my guilt?
Laugh Lots
My children are completely opposite, but I definitely see some similarities and believe (can be my own reality) that it is from having to deal with sickness.
My son is more so sensitive than my daughter. Always concerned about pleasing people and not hurting people feelings. My daughter is more of I can't please everyone, so I am not going to try to. But they are both more aware of each other, and the other people around them and are compassionate, caring, nurturing, and giving.
When someone is ill, injured or just not having a great day they are the first to be there and ask if they can help, make you a card, or give a hug and say "I love you". They are willing to help out around the house, or make breakfast in bed. I know it sounds like I am bragging, really I'm not. I just wonder would they be like this if I wasn't lucky enough to have Fibromyalgia. Would they have that willingness, or awareness if they were not surrounded by it?
I have spoken to a lot of mothers who have Chronic Pain/Fibro, not so many single mothers. And the majority of the mothers have said they notice their children are the same.
Is this one of the benefits, or am I looking for it to be to ease some of my guilt?
Laugh Lots
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Kids Worried
We, as mothers, as parents all worry with our children. We worry that they will hurt themselves, someone will hurt them, they will do the wrong thing, aren't eating enough, aren't sleeping enough, we worry about every little thing that has to do with our kids. But we are happy to do it, or most of us are.
But what about kids who worry to much?
Kids with sick parents tend to worry more so than other children. My children know that anything with mommy can go wrong at anytime. I have spoken to them and explained if it is something serious I will tell you, otherwise dont worry Mommy will be fine. But saying dont worry is easy, actually not worrying is something different.
I have daily pain (which I dont say in front of the kids), I am exhausted and unable to do everything I would like on a daily basis. I have sat down and explained Fibromyalgia with the children, gone over all the symptoms and explained I am able to deal with these things. On times the symptoms will be worse than they should and I will need to relax and just rest. The children are fine with this.
However, they worry that mommy will have a FULL BLOWN ATTACK. Where it hurts to have the eyes open and closed, hurts to lay your head on a pillow, hurts to sit on a toilet seat, hurts to have anything touching you including the thinnest sheet or softest shirt, those who have chronic pain/Fibromyalgia know that these are just a few of the things. It is rare for me to have a full attack, I am down to a handful a year. However, there are also the times that mommy is rushed to the hospital. I know it is rare with Fibromyalgia for operations and symptoms turn into hospitilizations, however with me it does, I am to about 2 a year. Much better than before. But my children are worried about this.
How do you stop a child from worrying.
Everyday I see my children and can tell which days they are worrying more than others. The days that "Mommy are you okay?" is asked over 30 times, and I am perfectly fine. My children seem to get more worried when I am doing fine than when I am limping, using my cane or say MOVIE DAY. You usually get a FULL ATTACK after a good period (you get cocky and think you can do anything, at least that is how I am, and your body laughs and says nope your not in control and BOOM Attack).
Children are alot smarter and notice more than we think, no matter how much you admit your child is smart, they are smarter than you think.
So what do you do?
My only thought is honesty, which I am, always with my children. I truly believe that children of people who live with Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia suffer more than the people with the actual disease.
Should we try to hide it or be Honest?
Laugh lots
But what about kids who worry to much?
Kids with sick parents tend to worry more so than other children. My children know that anything with mommy can go wrong at anytime. I have spoken to them and explained if it is something serious I will tell you, otherwise dont worry Mommy will be fine. But saying dont worry is easy, actually not worrying is something different.
I have daily pain (which I dont say in front of the kids), I am exhausted and unable to do everything I would like on a daily basis. I have sat down and explained Fibromyalgia with the children, gone over all the symptoms and explained I am able to deal with these things. On times the symptoms will be worse than they should and I will need to relax and just rest. The children are fine with this.
However, they worry that mommy will have a FULL BLOWN ATTACK. Where it hurts to have the eyes open and closed, hurts to lay your head on a pillow, hurts to sit on a toilet seat, hurts to have anything touching you including the thinnest sheet or softest shirt, those who have chronic pain/Fibromyalgia know that these are just a few of the things. It is rare for me to have a full attack, I am down to a handful a year. However, there are also the times that mommy is rushed to the hospital. I know it is rare with Fibromyalgia for operations and symptoms turn into hospitilizations, however with me it does, I am to about 2 a year. Much better than before. But my children are worried about this.
How do you stop a child from worrying.
Everyday I see my children and can tell which days they are worrying more than others. The days that "Mommy are you okay?" is asked over 30 times, and I am perfectly fine. My children seem to get more worried when I am doing fine than when I am limping, using my cane or say MOVIE DAY. You usually get a FULL ATTACK after a good period (you get cocky and think you can do anything, at least that is how I am, and your body laughs and says nope your not in control and BOOM Attack).
Children are alot smarter and notice more than we think, no matter how much you admit your child is smart, they are smarter than you think.
So what do you do?
My only thought is honesty, which I am, always with my children. I truly believe that children of people who live with Chronic Pain and Fibromyalgia suffer more than the people with the actual disease.
Should we try to hide it or be Honest?
Laugh lots
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Do Doctors Think Before They Speak?
I went to my Doctors yesterday for the routine 2 week appointment. Went through the typical questions
"What hurts?"
"Everything"
"Do you want the pain killers?"
"No"
" You having trouble sleeping?"
"Yes"
"Do you want the sleeping pills?"
"No"
"Are you still doing everything?"
"Yes"
"Are you exercising?"
"Yes"
"Are you resting"
"As much as I can"
Then came the lecture. I should rest, and let other people help me, and take the sleeping pills at night, and blah blah blah. I understand that with Fibro or any chronic pain disease/condition sleep is one of the most important aspects, the less sleep the more pain. However, when you are a single mom taking sleeping pills is not a responsible course of action. What if something happens in the middle of the night and I dont hear it because the sleeping pill is in effect (which has happened before, but thank god my mom was here, she does stay on rare occasions), what am I supposed to do? My son has severe asthma, and should something happen in the middle of the night, who is going to drive him, or even help him while I am in a drug stupor?
Then the rest and you shouldnt do everything. A single mom of two kids, who else is going to do it? Who else is going to get breakfast, kids off to school, laundry, cleaning, lunches, dinners, snacks, homework, playing, activities, reading, baths all that stuff who else is going to do it. If gazoo from the Flinstones would like to join me and help out great. No sorry, even better if I could wiggle my nose, or nod my head and everything is done, please give me that power.
I am told to send my kids to someone for a weekend. Who am I supposed to send them to? All of my family is in and out of the country, and right now they are out. And honestly the kids are the only reason why I get up in the morning, I smile, I work through the pain, and I laugh...yes I need breaks, and I do take a hour or so for myself, but who is supposed to help me?
I always wanted to be a mother, always, and my children are the greatest, I love them to death. It doesnt even cross my mind to not do for them. And I save the HELP PLEASE HELP calls for when I have full on attack, cause I dont know if it is going to be a day or three or a week until I can function again, and no matter how many times I explain this to my doctor he keeps saying "LET PEOPLE HELP AND DONT DO THE DISHES OR DONT DO THE LAUNDRY RELAX", it is so frustrating, that people do not understand this.
My children have seen alot, have asked doctors "why cant you fix mommy", and know that mommy is sick, but the last thing I am going to do is put any part of taking care of my kids on anyone else as that is my responsibility. Yes when I have someone over they help with the dishes or help with taking the kids out, but I am not going to call someone over to do that specifically.
I am hard headed, stubborn, and strong willed. I have adjusted my life more than I ever wanted to, but how are you supposed to rest, take the sleeping pills, and give up the everyday activities when you are a single mom?
Let me know what you think
Laugh lots
"What hurts?"
"Everything"
"Do you want the pain killers?"
"No"
" You having trouble sleeping?"
"Yes"
"Do you want the sleeping pills?"
"No"
"Are you still doing everything?"
"Yes"
"Are you exercising?"
"Yes"
"Are you resting"
"As much as I can"
Then came the lecture. I should rest, and let other people help me, and take the sleeping pills at night, and blah blah blah. I understand that with Fibro or any chronic pain disease/condition sleep is one of the most important aspects, the less sleep the more pain. However, when you are a single mom taking sleeping pills is not a responsible course of action. What if something happens in the middle of the night and I dont hear it because the sleeping pill is in effect (which has happened before, but thank god my mom was here, she does stay on rare occasions), what am I supposed to do? My son has severe asthma, and should something happen in the middle of the night, who is going to drive him, or even help him while I am in a drug stupor?
Then the rest and you shouldnt do everything. A single mom of two kids, who else is going to do it? Who else is going to get breakfast, kids off to school, laundry, cleaning, lunches, dinners, snacks, homework, playing, activities, reading, baths all that stuff who else is going to do it. If gazoo from the Flinstones would like to join me and help out great. No sorry, even better if I could wiggle my nose, or nod my head and everything is done, please give me that power.
I am told to send my kids to someone for a weekend. Who am I supposed to send them to? All of my family is in and out of the country, and right now they are out. And honestly the kids are the only reason why I get up in the morning, I smile, I work through the pain, and I laugh...yes I need breaks, and I do take a hour or so for myself, but who is supposed to help me?
I always wanted to be a mother, always, and my children are the greatest, I love them to death. It doesnt even cross my mind to not do for them. And I save the HELP PLEASE HELP calls for when I have full on attack, cause I dont know if it is going to be a day or three or a week until I can function again, and no matter how many times I explain this to my doctor he keeps saying "LET PEOPLE HELP AND DONT DO THE DISHES OR DONT DO THE LAUNDRY RELAX", it is so frustrating, that people do not understand this.
My children have seen alot, have asked doctors "why cant you fix mommy", and know that mommy is sick, but the last thing I am going to do is put any part of taking care of my kids on anyone else as that is my responsibility. Yes when I have someone over they help with the dishes or help with taking the kids out, but I am not going to call someone over to do that specifically.
I am hard headed, stubborn, and strong willed. I have adjusted my life more than I ever wanted to, but how are you supposed to rest, take the sleeping pills, and give up the everyday activities when you are a single mom?
Let me know what you think
Laugh lots
Thursday, January 13, 2011
I had a fine moment Tuesday. I spilt boiling soup on two of my fingers. After screaming "bloody hell", my children came up terrified. My kids know that mommy has bad and good days, and they dread the bad days, as my son worries non stop and my daughter gets scared.
It was a simple accident, a bad burn, but a simple accident that happens all the time. But it reminded me that my children have been affected by my Fibromyalgia, and they have had to deal with situations that a child should never have to deal with.
I believe in being honest with children, they are smarter than anyone thinks or likes to believe, and they can tell when something is not right. I have sat down and explained Fibro to them, and when I have an attack that it does pass. All the facts and all the explanations will never put their fears, or emotions aside. When mommy is in such pain that she cant move, or has to use a can, is too tired to do anything, or falls because her balance is off for a second, it will worry a child. This is even worse when you are single, you dont have the option to hide in your room, you still have to take care of the kids, which means they would see more than most.
What do you do? What can you do to put a childs mind to rest?
The guilt I feel that my Fibro has affected my children to such a degree.
Laugh Lots
Let me know what you do to help your children understand
It was a simple accident, a bad burn, but a simple accident that happens all the time. But it reminded me that my children have been affected by my Fibromyalgia, and they have had to deal with situations that a child should never have to deal with.
I believe in being honest with children, they are smarter than anyone thinks or likes to believe, and they can tell when something is not right. I have sat down and explained Fibro to them, and when I have an attack that it does pass. All the facts and all the explanations will never put their fears, or emotions aside. When mommy is in such pain that she cant move, or has to use a can, is too tired to do anything, or falls because her balance is off for a second, it will worry a child. This is even worse when you are single, you dont have the option to hide in your room, you still have to take care of the kids, which means they would see more than most.
What do you do? What can you do to put a childs mind to rest?
The guilt I feel that my Fibro has affected my children to such a degree.
Laugh Lots
Let me know what you do to help your children understand
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Massage
I mentioned in an earlier post that I had found a massage therapist that actually worked.
I have tried many medications, which doctors love to throw at you. Some of the pills I have been on are;
Wellbutrin
Zopicolone
Morphine
Codeine
Percocet
Cymbalta Lyrica
Fentanyl
That is just some of the meds that I have tried...and nothing has worked. I have tried the natural route, conventional massage, acupuncture, herbs, teas, listened to my parents and went to see so called specialists who can "CURE" Fibro, which brings me to a whole other rant...which I will avoid today, but one specialist actually suggested putting a lawn chair in my shower for me to sit in. Anyways I have tried it all.
I went to my fathers in Washington, DC or more accurately Arlington, VA (5mins away from Washington), and he begged me to go to this massage therapist. I skeptically went, very skeptical. She sat me down and explained that she believes, everything has to do with alignment. She gave me a choice a nice soft massage or a massage that doesnt feel so great but will bring me some relief. Now I had to give it a try, she has had Lupus for over a decade, and massaging for that long....if it is working for her have to give it a whirl.
The massage hurt, no lies here. Her elbows went under your should blades, back, sides, she bends you to your limit, and keeps going. I wanted to yell stop so many times, but I figure if it works I can go through a hour of pain happily. After I was done, she did do something that was not comprehendable to me, she said "No more heels". To me that is not allowed, it is against my religion, nope. I have listened to a point, with that, but I love my heels and will continue to wear them. Continuing on, that day I had so much energy (compared to every other day), did not want to nap, minimal pain (didnt even notice it), it was a complete change, but it worked. If I lived in Washington I would be going everyday. I have been looking relentlessly since I have returned home, but still cant find one who does it the way she did.
The type of massage is Neuromuscular Therapy with Myofacial Therapy. It is both types of therapy combined together, not performed seperatly. Also you have to have someone who believes in the holistic side, not the medicinal side, as that aspect is very good for any healthy healing. I am not saying it is a cure for all, or will work for you, but it did wonders for me and a few other people I know, and what do you have to lose.
Should you want to see this person, if you live in the area, and you are open minded please contact me.
Laugh lots....
I had a wonderful lady who read this blog and asked if I would set up a link to her blog that provides tips for finding a massage therapist. I have taken a look and happy to support. If you would like press the link and see if some of the tips will help you.
I have tried many medications, which doctors love to throw at you. Some of the pills I have been on are;
Wellbutrin
Zopicolone
Morphine
Codeine
Percocet
Cymbalta Lyrica
Fentanyl
That is just some of the meds that I have tried...and nothing has worked. I have tried the natural route, conventional massage, acupuncture, herbs, teas, listened to my parents and went to see so called specialists who can "CURE" Fibro, which brings me to a whole other rant...which I will avoid today, but one specialist actually suggested putting a lawn chair in my shower for me to sit in. Anyways I have tried it all.
I went to my fathers in Washington, DC or more accurately Arlington, VA (5mins away from Washington), and he begged me to go to this massage therapist. I skeptically went, very skeptical. She sat me down and explained that she believes, everything has to do with alignment. She gave me a choice a nice soft massage or a massage that doesnt feel so great but will bring me some relief. Now I had to give it a try, she has had Lupus for over a decade, and massaging for that long....if it is working for her have to give it a whirl.
The massage hurt, no lies here. Her elbows went under your should blades, back, sides, she bends you to your limit, and keeps going. I wanted to yell stop so many times, but I figure if it works I can go through a hour of pain happily. After I was done, she did do something that was not comprehendable to me, she said "No more heels". To me that is not allowed, it is against my religion, nope. I have listened to a point, with that, but I love my heels and will continue to wear them. Continuing on, that day I had so much energy (compared to every other day), did not want to nap, minimal pain (didnt even notice it), it was a complete change, but it worked. If I lived in Washington I would be going everyday. I have been looking relentlessly since I have returned home, but still cant find one who does it the way she did.
The type of massage is Neuromuscular Therapy with Myofacial Therapy. It is both types of therapy combined together, not performed seperatly. Also you have to have someone who believes in the holistic side, not the medicinal side, as that aspect is very good for any healthy healing. I am not saying it is a cure for all, or will work for you, but it did wonders for me and a few other people I know, and what do you have to lose.
Should you want to see this person, if you live in the area, and you are open minded please contact me.
Laugh lots....
I had a wonderful lady who read this blog and asked if I would set up a link to her blog that provides tips for finding a massage therapist. I have taken a look and happy to support. If you would like press the link and see if some of the tips will help you.
Monday, January 10, 2011
Coming Later Today
I mentioned an amazing massage therapist in an earlier post, I will be posting more information later today.
Embarrassed or Ticked Off?
Walking my kids to school this morning. And after the weekends snow play, I needed a little assistance with balance and walking, so I have the wonderful pleasure of using my cane. Nothing like using a cane with snow and ice, you have to be very coordinated, which on a good day I'm not. I am the person who falls up the stairs, or walks into a wall on a daily basis.
Im walking up the path, that is covered with ice and snow, and guess what I had the fun experience of falling on my hip. My kids both ran to me and said "Mommy, mommy are you okay?" I answered "Yes mommy just slipped and fell". That was not what ticked me off, there were no less than 5 adults who walked by, looked at me, and then kept walking. No asking if I am okay, no asking if they could help. That ticked me off.
Obviously it hurt, I have a nice black and purple bruise now, but I laughed when I got up, and thought again I fell. After I saw my children inside, I started to think, how rude are people now. I stop and help anyone who seems to need it. You see someone walking with a cane, fall do you not at least stop and ask are you okay?
So I am sure most have had an experience where common courtesy was not given. In this situation would you be ticked off or embarrassed.
Laugh lots.
Im walking up the path, that is covered with ice and snow, and guess what I had the fun experience of falling on my hip. My kids both ran to me and said "Mommy, mommy are you okay?" I answered "Yes mommy just slipped and fell". That was not what ticked me off, there were no less than 5 adults who walked by, looked at me, and then kept walking. No asking if I am okay, no asking if they could help. That ticked me off.
Obviously it hurt, I have a nice black and purple bruise now, but I laughed when I got up, and thought again I fell. After I saw my children inside, I started to think, how rude are people now. I stop and help anyone who seems to need it. You see someone walking with a cane, fall do you not at least stop and ask are you okay?
So I am sure most have had an experience where common courtesy was not given. In this situation would you be ticked off or embarrassed.
Laugh lots.
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Worth The Pain
I did it, I played with my kids this weekend, both days, in the wonderfully cold snow. The pain, exhaustion, and lack of brain function I felt afterwards was completly worth it.
Snowballs, igloos, and just plan having fun. Pretending I am a snow dinosaur with a child on my back, and on a good day before I had Fibro, a 50 pound child on your back, you on your knees on the snow for 20 mins racing around is hard enough. With Fibro it is umimaginable. The laughs, the giggling and the "GO FASTER MOMMY" wouldnt let me stop, it made the pain manageable.
I will never regret the pain I feel right now, the pain I felt when I laid down and felt the hips start to throb. It was the best day I have had in a long while. Next weekend it is sledding, the weekend that follows a trip to Ottawa for snow tubing, skating on the canal (if it is open) and just plain fun. The weekend after that, bed and couch, with heating pads everywhere, and if needed a good rub down (still trying to find someone who is a miracle worker like the lady in Washington, my god she was amazing).
Tell me how guilty do you feel when you have to say no to someone you love, is it only me who feels an overwhelming guilt.
Do me a favour pick one thing you want to do a month, one thing, and do it. Ten years from now, twenty years, thirty years from now do you want to say you didnt do it cause the pain ran your life, or do you want to say yes you did do it with the pain, and you still conquered and lived your life, maybe not the way you wanted to, but in a new and better way.
Laugh lots
Snowballs, igloos, and just plan having fun. Pretending I am a snow dinosaur with a child on my back, and on a good day before I had Fibro, a 50 pound child on your back, you on your knees on the snow for 20 mins racing around is hard enough. With Fibro it is umimaginable. The laughs, the giggling and the "GO FASTER MOMMY" wouldnt let me stop, it made the pain manageable.
I will never regret the pain I feel right now, the pain I felt when I laid down and felt the hips start to throb. It was the best day I have had in a long while. Next weekend it is sledding, the weekend that follows a trip to Ottawa for snow tubing, skating on the canal (if it is open) and just plain fun. The weekend after that, bed and couch, with heating pads everywhere, and if needed a good rub down (still trying to find someone who is a miracle worker like the lady in Washington, my god she was amazing).
Tell me how guilty do you feel when you have to say no to someone you love, is it only me who feels an overwhelming guilt.
Do me a favour pick one thing you want to do a month, one thing, and do it. Ten years from now, twenty years, thirty years from now do you want to say you didnt do it cause the pain ran your life, or do you want to say yes you did do it with the pain, and you still conquered and lived your life, maybe not the way you wanted to, but in a new and better way.
Laugh lots
Friday, January 7, 2011
What Do You Do
The first real snowfall of the year, YEAH. I am one those freaks that everyone complains about that loves the snow, the more it snows the happier I get. Skating, snowboarding, sledding, snowball fights, snowman building, ice sculptures, winter festivals, and yes even SHOVELLING I love it all.
When I had kids I couldnt wait until they were old enough to do all the activities with me. Now they are old enough, but what do you do when your doctors, and your body tells you NO. When your two kids come to you and say "Mommy mommy lets play outside" the last thing you want to say is "No mommys sick".
Fibromyalgia takes away your life the way you knew it. Every aspect of your life is touched by it, and not in a positive way. Now it wants to take away the memories I dreamed of making with my children. It is frustrating and makes me so angry, that something, a disease, is trying to take a precious experience away from me. For years I have listened to doctors and it has not gotten me one ounce better, healthier, or more funtional, in fact I have actually done the opposite.
You know what now I am going to stop listening to all those people who say you cant do this, you cant do that, you need to rest as much as you can. No one is going to take anymore experiences, memories away from me.
This does not mean I am going to be an absolute idiot, and not take care of myself. Sorry, I know me, at times I will ignore the warning signs and be an idiot and fool, whatever you want to call it. But tomorrow I am going to build a snowman with my children, have a snowball fight with my daughter and son, and then come inside make enough snacks that will fill us for hours, and sit on the couch with my kids and watch movies. I am making the memories and after I am going to be a couch potato and rest. I get the rest and more importantly I get the MEMORIES.
Now tell me am I a fool for doing this, or do you have any other ideas, or comments let me know.
Laugh lots.
When I had kids I couldnt wait until they were old enough to do all the activities with me. Now they are old enough, but what do you do when your doctors, and your body tells you NO. When your two kids come to you and say "Mommy mommy lets play outside" the last thing you want to say is "No mommys sick".
Fibromyalgia takes away your life the way you knew it. Every aspect of your life is touched by it, and not in a positive way. Now it wants to take away the memories I dreamed of making with my children. It is frustrating and makes me so angry, that something, a disease, is trying to take a precious experience away from me. For years I have listened to doctors and it has not gotten me one ounce better, healthier, or more funtional, in fact I have actually done the opposite.
You know what now I am going to stop listening to all those people who say you cant do this, you cant do that, you need to rest as much as you can. No one is going to take anymore experiences, memories away from me.
This does not mean I am going to be an absolute idiot, and not take care of myself. Sorry, I know me, at times I will ignore the warning signs and be an idiot and fool, whatever you want to call it. But tomorrow I am going to build a snowman with my children, have a snowball fight with my daughter and son, and then come inside make enough snacks that will fill us for hours, and sit on the couch with my kids and watch movies. I am making the memories and after I am going to be a couch potato and rest. I get the rest and more importantly I get the MEMORIES.
Now tell me am I a fool for doing this, or do you have any other ideas, or comments let me know.
Laugh lots.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Sympathy
Logically I understand that people who do not have chronic pain do not understand what I or others go through on a daily basis, mentally or physically. They have a certain amount of compassion, sympathy but when your family member, or best friend come to you with a cough or sore throat or even a flu do you have sympathy for them? I dont.
Dont get me wrong, I will take care of you, I will make homemade soup, I will make sure you always have kleenex and gingerale. Whatever you want I will do to make you feel better. But the lack of sympathy or compassion I have for people, sorry adults (my kids always have my heart and any compassion, sympathy they want) is a little disturbing to me.
I just went through the lovely experience where everyone in my family was sick, from my kids to my sis in law to my mom. During this time I had a full on Fibro attack which lasted a few days. Two days after my mother came to me and said "I just cant function, I am coughing, my throat is sore, and I feel weak". The first thing I thought "was are you kidding me?" Then I got the crackers, gingerale, kleenex, tylenol for her, and did everything for her that she asked. After a few days of complaining from my mom, my sis in law started in on me. I finally had it and said to my mother "I dont want to sound mean, but do you know what I go through on a daily basis and you have a cold for a few days and you want me to have sympathy sorry I dont. I will take care of you, happily and without complaint. But please dont expect me to have such sympathy for a cold."
So am I a cold heartless b***h? Let me know your thoughts.
Laugh lots
please stay tuned, embarrasing events which everyone laughs at...
Dont get me wrong, I will take care of you, I will make homemade soup, I will make sure you always have kleenex and gingerale. Whatever you want I will do to make you feel better. But the lack of sympathy or compassion I have for people, sorry adults (my kids always have my heart and any compassion, sympathy they want) is a little disturbing to me.
I just went through the lovely experience where everyone in my family was sick, from my kids to my sis in law to my mom. During this time I had a full on Fibro attack which lasted a few days. Two days after my mother came to me and said "I just cant function, I am coughing, my throat is sore, and I feel weak". The first thing I thought "was are you kidding me?" Then I got the crackers, gingerale, kleenex, tylenol for her, and did everything for her that she asked. After a few days of complaining from my mom, my sis in law started in on me. I finally had it and said to my mother "I dont want to sound mean, but do you know what I go through on a daily basis and you have a cold for a few days and you want me to have sympathy sorry I dont. I will take care of you, happily and without complaint. But please dont expect me to have such sympathy for a cold."
So am I a cold heartless b***h? Let me know your thoughts.
Laugh lots
please stay tuned, embarrasing events which everyone laughs at...
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Mack Truck
Everyone has had those days that never end. From morning to night you dont sit down, nobody you deal with has common sense, what should take 5mins, takes a hour. Why is this. I had the plan I am going to rest. Was run ragged during the holidays, had a full on Fibro attack. And if you dont have chronic pain you will NEVER understand this. You may have sympathy or compassion but please dont say I UNDERSTAND, we just think you are an idiot, we may not say it, but we think it. So I say fine going to rest, kids back to school can get 6 full hours in of rest, no interruptions. Well I was stupid to even think that was going to happen. Had to drive people, pick up keys, run around for errands that all of sudden had to be done now for family members who are out of the country, help my best friend with his car. This was the final straw, had to take two kids downtown on a train, where my son then lost his stuffed animal and I had to go searching for. However, I did have a bit of luck here it was in the first place I looked, thank god and if you dont believe in god, thank you science, zeus, aliens or whoever you want to choose. I felt the pain creeping up, and creeping up. I sat down for the first time for at 10:30pm (I started at 6:30am). When I sat down the mack truck hit me, fully. And I have actually been hit by a Transport Truck, I would have taken that again.
My first thought after a few curse words, was there goes my positivity and saying this is part of my life. Then my son came down and gave me the biggest hug and said "Mommy thank you, you are the best". and I forgot everything. This 30 seconds with my son made it all worth while, all of it. I realized that with all the running around, I still laughed with my children, I still had an adventure (wanted or not), and despite all the pain it was a much better day than sitting on the couch watching YOU ARE MY BABYS DADDY on Maury Pauvich.
Now for all those people who do not have Fibro, this does not mean the person you know, the family member you have who does live with Fibro can do this everyday. They still need to rest, and I need to rest if I have another day like that I know I will have a full on attack again, and the full on attacks make you wish to give labour without the pain killers than be in the pain you have. But the key is despite the pain, look at the good in the day, when you are in so much pain on a daily basis you forget to concentrate on anything but that. Just look at the good in the day.
Talk to you all soon, going to go rest and watch some horrible daytime tv.
Laugh
My first thought after a few curse words, was there goes my positivity and saying this is part of my life. Then my son came down and gave me the biggest hug and said "Mommy thank you, you are the best". and I forgot everything. This 30 seconds with my son made it all worth while, all of it. I realized that with all the running around, I still laughed with my children, I still had an adventure (wanted or not), and despite all the pain it was a much better day than sitting on the couch watching YOU ARE MY BABYS DADDY on Maury Pauvich.
Now for all those people who do not have Fibro, this does not mean the person you know, the family member you have who does live with Fibro can do this everyday. They still need to rest, and I need to rest if I have another day like that I know I will have a full on attack again, and the full on attacks make you wish to give labour without the pain killers than be in the pain you have. But the key is despite the pain, look at the good in the day, when you are in so much pain on a daily basis you forget to concentrate on anything but that. Just look at the good in the day.
Talk to you all soon, going to go rest and watch some horrible daytime tv.
Laugh
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Year New Start
Late night, rainy weather equals bad day for people with Fibromyalgia or with chronic pain. Spent a wonderful night with my two children and woke up with the first thought, WHY DO KIDS NOT SLEEP IN....but a hug from my son and a good morning mom, made the pain nothing.
It is amazing when you hear doctors say laughter or love can help you may believe but dont fully understand until it happens to you. Applies to most things in life.
Resolutions, I want to lose weight, I want to stop smoking, I want to......why make a resolution that we know we all break, sorry not fair to the 5% who actually do keep their resolutions. Why make a resolution that most break.
My goal, hopes, wishes, and dreams can be incorporated into one resolution....BE THE TRUEST ME. Be honest with myself, be myself, and be proud of it. Why not there is only one you and one me, if you dont like it well your loss, and not going to stress or let it affect me.
Okay enough of the sappy crap. I will talk to you all later on....
Laugh
It is amazing when you hear doctors say laughter or love can help you may believe but dont fully understand until it happens to you. Applies to most things in life.
Resolutions, I want to lose weight, I want to stop smoking, I want to......why make a resolution that we know we all break, sorry not fair to the 5% who actually do keep their resolutions. Why make a resolution that most break.
My goal, hopes, wishes, and dreams can be incorporated into one resolution....BE THE TRUEST ME. Be honest with myself, be myself, and be proud of it. Why not there is only one you and one me, if you dont like it well your loss, and not going to stress or let it affect me.
Okay enough of the sappy crap. I will talk to you all later on....
Laugh
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