Don't Touch Me

Who  hasn't been there, you are in so much pain and a family member comes and hugs you, or you are at work and have to shake hands.  All you want to do is yell DON'T TOUCH ME.

I grew up in a very affectionate family.  Moms always hugging and kissing us.  I was daddys little girl, sitting on his lap, arms linked, hugs, everyone knew I was a daddys' girl.  With my children I never stop hugging them, or kissing them, holding hands, they are still at the age where they don't get embarrassed, not that their embarrassment will stop me.

So what's the problem?  I can not stand people touching me.  I actually want to push them away and say never touch me again.  When I touch someone, I have the control on how hard or how soft the touch is, I have control on when and where we touch, and what my body can handle.  When someone touches me, I have to refrain myself from pushing them off.

Why does this occur, I have received the typical answer "this is part of Fibro".  My Pain Specialist who is also my Psychiatrist has told me
"it is a natural way for pain control, a way where only I have the control, and the one way that I know will work for sure". 
Is there anything that I can do about it, nope.

The weird thing is that I have this feeling more so when I am having good days, as if the persons touch is going to bring on the attack.  It doesn't make sense, but it is one of the realities I have had to take on when Fibro decided to come into my life. 

The real question is how do you tell people, don't touch me, especially your children.  With my children I have learned to bite my tongue.  I have been rude to others though.  I am one of those butterfly hug people now.  You know the person who stands so far away from you that you can fit another person in between and quickly pats the back and breaks the embrace quick.  I have learned to always stand further away, just that extra step back so people wont bother to give you a hug hello or goodbye, or always hold something so that I do not have to shake hands.  I have become rude, without realizing it, that is till recently. 

But do I want to change?