Negativity

We have all been there, nothing but negative thoughts.  Pain everyday, half the doctors think that we are imagining the pain and are drug seekers, the half that do believe us maybe 1% actually know how to help us, and even that is limited.  Never have enough energy to do what we want, constantly disappointing our children, family members, friends and ourselves with not being ourselves and having to say no.  How can we not think negative?

Does the negativity make us feel better or worse?  Have you ever thought about it?

Like you, I have gone on many Fibro/Chronic Pain sites, support groups, message boards and all I find is that the majority of the people are complaining, and the people who are offering tips are getting nasty remarks or being told they do not have Fibro.  So why the negativity?

Is it hard?  Of course. 

Is it worth it to be negative?  NEVER

We have enough negativity with the doctors alone, we do not need anymore, especially from ourselves.

It is hard to find the positivity in our symptom, condition, disease.  Find it though.  Yes, it is easier said than done.  Your in pain, another doctor says something you don't like, new meds aren't working, find the positive.  I am thankful for my daily pain and not for a full blown attack everyday, doctor said something idiotic, good closer to the right doctor, meds aren't working, we are still fighting for the right one.  The negative will do nothing but bring you to a place that is just laying on the couch, watching Maury Pauvich and who is my babys daddy, and how is that going to help you at all.  The one thing I found that worked for me also is the complaining had to go away.  Who likes to hear a kid complain or whine?  No one, so why is it that people want to hear it from us?  They don't.  If that is all that you talk about, that is all people talk about with you.  Fibro is not who you are or who I am, it is a part of me.  So now when people ask me how I'm doing, I say fine.  If they want more detail I say its a better day, or if its not, I say its a bad day.  That is it. 

What makes you smile?  What makes you laugh?  Use those things.  Have a song that always brings you to a better place, play it.  I have a few including guilty pleasures like New Kids on The Block (sorry dad), and Sir Mix Alot (yes we all know the song), and then a new one Pretty Girl Rock.  Everyone has a song that does it for them.  Find the things the bring you out of the negativity. 

If you want to be negative, fine do it.  But why bring your negativity to other people?  I have seen on support boards, facebook pages, in groups people offering suggestions, things that have worked for them and they are shut down, accused of not having Fibro.  Who are these people to even suggest or bring that attitude to someone who is trying to offer someone something that is positive.  What works for you doesn't work for me, necessarily.  So if it doesn't work for you, why put that person down, or put out negative comments.  With Fibro and Chronic Pain we need support, positive support and if you cannot supply that then please do not comment at all.

We cannot rely on doctors to help us, we have to figure out what we can do for ourselves to make us able to live, not survive, live.  Negativity will not allow you to live, it will not allow you to move forward, so omit it from your life.