Support For Others

When you have Fibro or Chronic Pain we always look for support, help and understanding for ourselves.  It is rightly deserved.  However we are not the only ones going through our daily struggles. 

What about the people who are around you on a daily basis?  The spouses, the moms, the dads, the siblings, and most importantly (at least to me) the children.  Although they do not deal with the pain, exhaustion, and everything else we do, they have their own struggles.  No matter how much you try, you and I will never understand what they feel. 

I have heard "so what, if they love us they should deal with it", or "why should I have compassion for them, when they don't feel what I go through?".  What do they go through? 

Think of it this way, the person you love the most, there is something wrong with them, take something simple a broken bone.  You have sympathy, you want to help where you can, and do more for them, putting more on yourself.  That is just for a broken bone.  Now lets say there is something wrong with your loved one that doctors just cannot figure out.  The frustration you would feel, the anger, the sense of helplessness.  Now switch it around.

They have daily pain, and something that is attacking their body on a daily basis.  There is no cure, very little medical help and at any day they can have a huge attack where the pain is so great that giving birth feels like a walk in the park.  They have mood swings, never want to do anything, don't always want you touching them, and are dismissive when you try to help.  How would you feel?

You are helpless, there is nothing you can do to ease the pain.  You are frustrated, angry at the situation and start to resent them.  All of those feelings keep building and building as the days go by. 

The people around us, who also deal with Fibro/Chronic Pain do not get enough applause, or thanks for what they go through. 

A father or mother who sees their child going through pain is heart wrenching.  A spouse who is supposed to help, protect (especially for the men), and stand by their side is hard and takes great courage and strength.  Or there are the siblings and friends, who are always there, even when you withdraw, no longer want to go out, or answer your phone, who are just trying to help.  How do they do it?  How long can they do it for?  

What about the children.  They are supposed to feel protected and seeing their parent constantly go to doctor after doctor, and in some cases hospital after hospital, it is scary.  When mommy and daddy are unable to play, or do what they would like.  What about the times that the child just wants a hug and you cant say no, when they do hug you, you tense up because of the pain.  They notice this.  How strong are these little guys?  They are, to me, our little heroes.

The spouses, parents, siblings, and especially the children, DO NOT FORGET WHAT THEY GO THROUGH.  Every chance you get, every minute you can say thank you, tell them you appreciate them and what they do for you.

Remember we are not the only ones who are affected, the people around us are affected differently, but strongly.