Monday, March 28, 2011

Truly Blessed

We are truly blessed.

For the last week and a half, I have been at my grandmothers almost everyday.  My grandmother is one of two women who have been my only role models and inspirations in my life as I was growing up.  She is strong, independent, caring, loving, witty, and of course stubborn.  She was diagnosed with multiple types of cancer and very little time to live.

This woman has taken the news with grace, courage, and serenity.  I sit beside her and think how lucky I am to be who I am, and have what I have. 

She has only worried about others, and not herself.  A lesson to be learned by all.

I have Fibro, Chronic Pain and many other things wrong with me.  This woman has been diagnosed with Cancer, once again, with a terminal prognosis and is at peace with it.  I have nothing to say but thank you, I only have Chronic Pain, and I get the wonderful privilege to see my children grow up, and years with my family and friends.

With everyday that you wake up, with every pain, with every challenge, please take it with courage, grace, and serenity. 

Remember there is always someone who has it worse than you.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Yes I Am Foolish

Well I am completely foolish, an idiot, lack of a brain.  You name it, I deserve it.

I have been exercising, eating healthy, not pushing myself too much, and feeling fabulous.  Well fabulous for a person with Fibro.  

Last night I was sitting with the kids and a friend watching a movie, when my lovely friend decided to order Chinese food from a place that I absolutely love the Vegetarian Spring Rolls.  Everything is homemade with this Spring Roll.  I held my tongue when the initial order was placed, however when they called back to order two Egg Rolls for themselves, all of a sudden I said a Spring Roll please.

That Spring was delicious I ate the thing, which is bigger than my hand, it is a huge Spring Roll.  I ate it within minutes.  I was sitting back thinking once in awhile wont kill me.  Then it happened. 

THE PAIN.  THE ACHES.  THE SICK TO MY STOMACH FEELING.  THE HEADACHE.  THE BURNING.

It all happened in less than 10 minutes.  Today I had more trouble waking up thank I have had in months.  Limping, pain that is not tolerable. 

I know I brought it on myself, and I know I have no one to blame but myself.  Right now I am going to sound like a two year old.  IT IS NOT FAIR, I WANT TO EAT IT.

Looking on the positive side.  It does reinforce and give me a new re found confidence in what I have been practicing.  Exercising, eating healthy, and do not push myself too  much.  Yes Doctors I owe you an "You Were Right".  This regime does help with the pain, it may not omit it, but it does make it less than it is when I do not practice the "good for you habits".

I know I will make the same mistake again, and I know I will kick myself again.  However, sometimes you just don't think, I didn't last night, and I am paying for it. 

I will say the same thing I tell my kids,

IF YOU DO SOMETHING THAT YOU KNOW WILL BRING A CONSEQUENCE, MAKE SURE IT IS WORTH IT TO YOU.  YOU HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELF.

Still deciding if it was worth it to me.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

What Do You Do? Part 2

What Do You Do?  Part 2 

Yes it rhymes, sorry it wasn't meant to, even though it did make me smile.  Yes little things amuse little minds.

Did you have any ideas?  I have and have done some research on a few of my ideas, so let me share.   These are just my ideas, if you don't like them, tell me.  Don't think I expect you to follow my ideas as well.  If you offer one person with Fibromyalgia a kind word, or volunteer at an organization for a hour, you have done something.  Now enough of that, ideas.

1.  Start two support groups.  The first a support group for those with Fibromyalgia, but put a spin on it.  The majority of support groups offer seminars, speakers, information and information is power.  However I want to start an active support group.  A group where an activity is planned, allowing the people with Fibro to have support from others like them, as well as getting the benefit of exercise.

The second support group will be for those around us.  Our family, friends, children.  Offering them a place to speak to eachother, rant, complain, and get it all out without having the guilt of saying it to us.  Especially for the children whose parents or siblings have it, and the parents who have a child with Fibro

2.  Either this year (although that is very, very optimistic) start a 5k run for those with Fibro.  Proceeds going to research, actual research for the cause and even maybe the cure for Fibro.  I figure I am training to run a 5k why not get some good out of it as well.

3.  There are over 6 million people who suffer from Fibromyalgia, a least diagnosed with Fibro in Canada and the US alone, the number worldwide is unknown.  What if every person with Fibro donated one dollar to a research group of their own choice.  The amount of money collectively donated would do wonders for research.  We all think our little amount will not do a thing, but if all of our little amounts are donated then it would do unthinkable things.

Those are my ideas....Let me know yours.

Bruising

I have received a few emails asking if I have ever heard of or experienced bruising that is related to Fibromyalgia.

Yes, I have. 

From the research I have done, it is common among people with Fibromyalgia.  There are different types.  We are more sensitive and therefor we do experience bruising from touches that others may not.

However, I have experienced bruising where it looked like someone had hit me with a baseball bat a few times.  It started with a rash all over my body.  The rash was itchy, little red dots, and irritation all over my body.  Doctors tried creams (didn't work), and said it was a new allergy that I needed to figure out, it wasn't.  Go figure a doctor was wrong.  The rash lasted about three weeks before I saw the bruising.  It started with little finger mark bruises that would show up where I was scratching.  After about a week I woke up with huge bruises all over my body.  I must admit it was a little scary when I first saw them.  I went to numerous doctors, and Mount Sinai hospital in Toronto, which wrote in my chart, I was a victim of domestic violence (which to say the least pissed me off).  My family doctor came back from vacation, and when I saw him after tests, said I was one of the lucky ones who will experience severe bruising with Fibro.  However, I am lucky it was not anything more serious.

Now, as I said before there are different types of bruising, and any type that makes you feel uncomfortable should be checked out by a doctor, and don't let the doctor dismiss you.  Request a platelet test to make sure all is fine, doctors will try to discourage it but if you want it get the test.  Remember for the thousands of dollars doctors pay for their years of education they are wrong.  Also doctors who do believe in Fibromyalgia very few believe that it is degenerative or can cause other problems that can be more serious, and it does.

I have attached a few of the photos taken for my medical file on my photos page, to give you an idea of what is considered normal for Fibromyalgia.  However everytime I do get this type of bruising I do get a platelet test done to be safe.

Believe in yourself, only you know your body.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

What Do You Do?

We have Fibromyalgia/Chronic Pain.  We have all complained until we are blue in the face.  We have sat on the couch watching horrible TV as we get wider, although at times very fun and necessary.  We have yelled, questioned, and laughed at Doctors.  We have done everything negative that is possible.

What do you do for the Fibro cause?

I did absolutely nothing.  I sat and complained Doctors dont believe me, or have called it the housewives disease, and research is minimal because it isn't a big famous disease.  Where does this get us, get me?  Nowhere.  It doesnt benefit me, you, others, the disease in a positive way. 

What do you do?  Then come the overwhelming feeling.  What do I want to contribute?  How do I start?  How do I get the word out?  What if it doesnt work?  Do I have the energy for it? 

Think how good you will feel, fighting the disease, the Fibro, the pain, instead of letting it just take over you.  Yes we fight it everyday we are alive, but lets take it to the next level. 

I am not just going to preach and not follow my own sermon.  I am going to think tonight about what I would like to do, I already have ideas, and let you in tomorrow. 

I challenge all of you to think of one thing that you can do, no matter how small you may think it is, it is important.  A 100 people doing one small action will have a bigger impact than one person doing one big action. 

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

I Hate It, But It WORKS

First off, sorry everyone for not writing in the last few days, and thank you for all the emails I received much appreciated.  All is fine...had some sick kids who were in need of mommy.

Well Doctors tell us to do it, and it is the only remedy or helpful remedy that is recommended for Fibromyalgia.  Exercise.  Everyone who has Fibro and has been told exercise, scoffs and thinks "You want me to exercise when I am in this much pain".  I have been one of those people, but after gaining way too much weight and my son telling me "Mommy you are fat", it was time to do something for it.  Although my reasoning for starting the exercise was not necessarily the correct one, the reason why I continue is.  The exercise does help.

Now don't get me wrong, I hate going.  I especially hated it when I had to take it so slow at first, because our bodies do not adapt like a person who does not have Fibro.  However, after a week or so, I noticed that I had more energy.  I had an extra hour in the day before I wanted to collapse.  As time has gone on I have noticed other benefits, easier to get up in the morning, pain is still there but not as great, more manageable, able to do more things with the kids, overall better mood, and the best thing of all, I now love my ass, I am infatuated with it now.  Yes I know I am vain.

Anyone who looks at me weird, laughs, or says I do not have Fibro because I am suggesting this, but exercise.   It does help a great deal.  When I started I was lucky to be able to do 10mins without coming home and collapsing, I am now up to 90mins, feeling great and training for a 5k. 

The exercise will make your body look amazing, easier to move, and you will feel more confident. 

Talk to you all tomorrow.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Am I Turning Into An Idiot?

When you are diagnosed with anything, whether it is as simple as having a sty, or what I have Fibromyalgia, one of the first things you do is research what can start to happen.  One of the things I came across is Fibro Fog.  I didn't realize it meant that I was going to be a bumbling idiot on certain days.

Is it just me?

There are days that I forget everything, my phone, my wallet, keys, anything that I am suppossed to have with me.  I have spoken to doctors and they suggest writing lists.  I have tried it, and it works if you remember to bring the lists with you.  My daughter actually wrote a list and taped it to the door of things that I forget on a regular basis.  I went to an award ceremony for both of my children and I placed the camera by my phone so that I would not forget it, guess what I forgot both.  That was the second time that day I had forgotten something. 

Forgetting items at home, although annoying I can laugh off.  What irks me is when I forget words, train of thought, or what I am doing.  I have been in middle of conversations and forgotten simple words such as, spoon, teach, making the bed.  When I am looking at whoever I am speaking to and have to pause because I have forgotten a word, I feel so foolish.  Everyone gets distracted and forgets what they were suppossed to do or what the point of their story is, when it happens multiple times a day, then what do you do?  I used to be able to carry on a conversation with wit and intelligence, now I am lucky if I can carry a conversation with remembering all the words. 

What do you do? 

I have chosen to laugh it off.  However, I wish someone would have explained to me that I was going to be an absolute idiot at times.